Vision Activation Coaching Program Step #7 Vision Support
Determining who can help us fill out our cup, through offering encouragement when we get struck with self-doubt, a listening ear when we want to sound out an idea, or a spirit of inspiration to spark action, is essential to surrounding ourselves with the right support system to realize our vision.
We have now taken time to give thought to how we will balance pursuing our vision with the various moving parts and pieces of our lives, including relationships, financial commitments, and other priorities.
Now we get the chance to look at how we activate our support system to rally around us, and consciously consider what strengths might compliment ours, and what energies and voices we can surround ourselves with that can help us maintain momentum as we take steps towards our desired objectives.
Allowing myself to be supported has been a long road with lots of resistance along the way. Coming from an alcoholic household, I learned very early on how to be self-reliant, and the dangers of disappointment if I did attempt to lean on others.
If our primary caretakers don’t send messages that our needs matter, it is safe to ask for help, and that they can be depended upon, then we most certainly are not going to believe those outside of our family would be willing to play this role.
When I found Al-Anon in my late 20s after coming to terms with the pain that came from my codependent patterns of relating, I felt that if I did not risk sharing my vulnerability and allowing people to respond with kindness and generosity in this circle, I might never do it.
So, I tippy toed my way into revealing the challenges I was facing, one meeting and phone call at a time, and letting people share their experience, strength, and hope. Through this level of revealing my true self, being seen and accepted, I found a guiding light out of the dark cavern I felt that I was in at the time.
It is one thing to learn to ask for support when we are struggling, but quite another to find your way through asking for support when you are pursuing a dream. I am not sure which one is more uncomfortable.
I have had a complicated relationship with desire for much of my life…the fear of wanting something and the risk of not getting it held me back from acknowledging what I really wanted in my life.
And boldly claiming what you want, especially when it is outside of the norms of your community, can create a whole host of reactions that we don’t always feel prepared to respond to. Feeling misunderstood as we pursue our own unique vision is definitely a key thing that we are invited to work through as we build a life that feels good for our hearts and souls.
When I received the unexpected invitation to go to Rwanda for a 10-month assignment to support a university focused on conservation agriculture, to help with building their capacity in leadership and entrepreneurship, I almost fell out of my chair.
When I was in college, I studied abroad in South Africa, and in France, and as I graduated, I thought, “that would be really cool to work in a french-speaking African country one day.” That dream drifted away in my 20s and 30s as I found my way into a career in higher education and human resources. But my higher power had not forgotten, and presented this opportunity in the middle of COVID, of all times.
This time, I was ready to activate my support system in a thoughtful and meaningful way as I prepared for my departure. I let my professional network know that I was embarking on this adventure through email, and welcomed any thoughts or connections, and ended up with 3 or 4 inspiring calls with people who had experience working on the continent.
I reached out to a former graduate school colleague, who I knew had done work in healthcare access on the African continent, and welcomed the excuse to re-connect.
I considered the strengths of my friends, and customized my requests for how they could be along for the ride. One of my friends has the gift of organization and designing systems, so we worked together on my packing list, which would help me feel comfortable and connected in a foreign land.
Another friend is a pastor, and I asked her to help host a “send-off” blessing gathering with my friend community. Everyone was so eager to play a small part in preparing me for this adventure, and I have never felt so supported in my life, but I had to ASK for it.
So, for this stage of the process, we are going to consider what steps we need to take to activate your support system around your vision, so that you too feel this tailwind, and get to share your success with your community, near and far.
Here are some journaling prompts that I encourage you to consider in advance of our time together:
Who are the people in your life who make you feel grounded when you are seeking new heights? Who are the people in your life that inspire you around your emerging vision?
Do you feel you have a balance of people who ground you and inspire you? Or are there gaps you feel you might need to fill?
Do you sense that you might receive any resistance from your support system, as you pursue this vision? If so, how do you think you can best manage these challenges?
What do you need from your existing support system in order to make your current vision a reality? Are there strengths of others you can draw upon, rather than muscling it out yourself?
Are there new communities you might benefit from exploring or participating in, so that you can continue to gain fuel and insight that can propel you forward?
If what I am sharing resonates, I encourage you to find time for a virtual coffee here. If I am not the right resource, I would still love to learn a bit about your story, and see if there is another connection point I might be able to point you towards that might help you find your way forward.
