Revisiting Rwanda | Creating proper closure and embracing new beginnings
My travel writing experimentation continues as I recently enjoyed the leisure activities offered at Umva Muhazi, including patio lounging and kayaking. Stay tuned for this feature!
As I am writing this, I am lounging on the patio space at a local ecolodge, UMVA Muhazi, and settling into my month-long stay here in Rwanda. The bugs are singing me a sweet song, after an afternoon spent kayaking on Lake Muhazi, and taking in the conversations among international guests lounging on the patio, as they allowed the comfy lounge chairs and hammocks to absorb any worries or fears they might have brought to the lodge.
This visit is a return to a country that I developed a relationship with during a year-long assignment in 2021. When I mention to people that I had the chance to spend an extended period of time here, I always have to explain that the horrific scenes displayed in the iconic film Hotel Rwanda feels a million miles away when you step into the lush, vibrant, clean, and peaceful streets of Kigali (the main city of the country) present today.
When I stumbled upon my previous assignment on a road trip through Nebraska, which was my 50th state to visit in the United States at the time, it felt like a clear message from my higher power that new international frontiers were ready for me, now that I had covered all my bases in my country of origin.
I had stopped at University of Nebraska, as including flagship universities and colleges as guiding lights in my travels has always been part of my adventuring. After reaching out to a former graduate school colleague to ask if she had visited the campus before, she reminded me that her previous boss from her work in Rwanda now worked there, and immediately offered to see if he was available for a last minute coffee or lunch connection.
My trip to Rwanda began by joining a delegation from University of Nebraska to celebrate the first graduation ceremony at the Rwanda Institute for Conservation Agriculture, where I previously worked in 2021. It was an honor to share in this milestone with some of my previous colleagues as well as graduates that I had developed a relationship with during my assignment.
Mind you, this was during COVID, when people were often working from home and hesitant to entertain unfamiliar connections. I also knew higher ed administration as a schedule often consumed with meetings, and doubted his availability, but within 15 minutes, I received a text from Blayne Sharpe, who would greatly change my fate.
As I ate too many chips over a casual lunch conversation, he caught me up to speed on his involvement leading strategic projects on the African continent for the university. He asked about my professional background, and was vigorously nodding as I painted the story of the twists and turns I had taken from higher ed, to human resources, to workforce development.
And before I knew it, he asked if I had any interest in a 10-month contract to support a new university focused on conservation agriculture based upon my background in leadership development and entrepreneurship education. It took all my “professional wherewithal” to not jump up and down with a belly full of chips and shout a resounding “yes.”
I managed to keep my composure and within four months I was on a plane to a continent I had not visited since a study abroad trip to South Africa in 2004. My curiosity about countries that have trauma and injustice in their history and DNA (probably most countries, to be honest), AND were finding some way to create a path to reconciliation, would no doubt gain additional fuel for insight and understanding.
The assignment itself turned out to be a truly humbling experience. To this point, I prided myself on being able to quickly arrive in new work scenarios, fairly quickly assess the landscape, and co-create customized solutions with key stakeholders. But doing that in a totally different cultural context was a challenge on a whole new level. Understanding dynamics of work schedules (never schedule a meeting from 12-2pm, as the lunch hour is more sacred than the dinner hour), communication etiquette (e-mail as a productivity hack takes back seat to making a phone call to handle business in a highly relational culture), and the formality required for senior officials participating in ceremony all threw me for a bit of a loop, among other things.
My previous assignment involved studying the exciting developments in the entreprenuership ecosystem in Rwanda, and it has been so fun to see how it continues to evolve, including the addition of new players like Norskeen. Enjoyed some co-working here with a previous colleague.
But with time I gained my bearings, and managed to find a way to balance being culturally sensitive while also being true to my own authentic approach. A recommended reading in the last year that crossed my path was for The Blue Sweater: Bridging the Gap Between Rich and Poor in an Interconnected World by Jacqueline Novogratz. It was a hugely validating account, outlining the unique learning curve that goes along with being a naive Westerner, attempting to find a way through all the complexities and contradictions of international development work.
I knew I would be uncomfortable with some of the power dynamics inherent in this type of work, but it was even more unnerving than I thought. Whether it could be attributed to colonial influences manipulating minds to believe that the white man (or woman) does indeed have all the answers, or a culture that had learned to kowtow to Western philanthropy and aid efforts post-genocide, it made my skin crawl. I also had to come to terms with my discomfort with the power bestowed upon me as I stepped further into my interest in “consulting,” which encourages “expertise” and projecting a certain amount of confidence to gain client trust.
It felt unnatural to play this role both because I actually am more drawn to breadth vs. depth of expertise, but also I was on my own personal journey to embracing the mystery of “not knowing” vs. valuing competence, especially in an increasingly dynamic and evolving landscape, due to COVID and beyond. “Let’s discover together” felt more and more authentic than “I have the answers.” Since I have been here there has also been a continued shedding of "seriousness" required in my work life to finding ways to feel more of a sense of play, fun, and adventure in my core activities. It is nice to look back and see all these different lessons with such clarity, which is the gift of time and distance.
As I write, it has been 1.5 years since I returned to the US from my initial assignment. I feel like I have lived five lifetimes since I was here, and Rwanda feels like a completely different place, due to COVID now being a thing of the past, and also the fact that this country is on a development trajectory that can feel hard to keep up with. And yet, the sights and sounds feel all rather familiar…the buzz of motos running around town, the vibrant plumes of the diverse variety of birds, climbing the abundant hills to arrive at my next destination.
Another favorite feature of my return to Rwanda is COLOR!! Roaming around coffee shops, art studios, and clothing stores is a true delight for the eyeballs.
I have often drawn the parallel between our relationships with places we live, often being like dating. As an example, as I sensed I was ready to move on from Nashville, I joked that it had broken up with me quite some time ago and moved on and found a younger, hotter girlfriend who wore a mini-skirt and knew how to be instagram perfect. And it was my job to accept that it was not the place I had fallen in love with 10 years ago, and I was not the same person either. It was time for me to move on too, and find a more resonant “partner,” who matched the person I had evolved into, which at the time felt like the earthy, laid-back vibes of the Pacific Northwest.
As I return to this previous chapter, I am reminded of the challenges I have had throughout my life with “letting go.” This is no doubt deeply rooted in some of the attachment style patterns that developed for me at a young age. Even when I leave a job, a relationship, or a city, it seems I have to revisit it a number of times before I can finally make peace with fully “moving on.” I was also told once by a friend that, when and if I write a memoir, a good title might be “a life of constant reinvention” and I am fully aware that not many people begin and end so many chapters as I have. It is a life of many deaths, and many new beginnings, and not everybody is dealt that karmic lesson with such consistency. But here I am, invited to pay attention to where there is energy, and where there is not, and invest accordingly. And as a wise sold told me somewhere along the way, "it is not over until it is over."
So it is with this in mind that I approach the remainder of my time here…what needs closure, and where are new beginnings drawing me forward into my next frontier? My next moves will take me to study the Africa Parks conservation model, community-based tourism efforts at Red Rocks Initiative, and continuing to support partnership development efforts at Postcard Travel Club. May you also give yourself all the time and grace you need to release old chapters, relationships, and patterns, and find the courage to move on, and trust what is calling you forward on your path.
