Dolly, Desire, and a Life Big Enough for All of Me
Europe gave me plenty of time on the proverbial—and literal—balcony, taking in the bigger picture and considering what I want to bring to this particular moment.
“Who you are to be, you are fast becoming.” This was one of my Dad’s favorite wisdom nuggets that he regularly referenced, starting when I was a teenager. And somehow it has been re-visiting me, in light of Dolly Parton’s recent passing.
With another icon and hero moving to the other side, I feel this pressing sense that the time is now to step up into new levels of leadership, no longer waiting for others to give us permission to bring all our chips to the table.
This happened to coincide with voice note exchanges (yes, one of my favorite forms of communication while I am on the road) with a few friends about how we are currently defining “female leadership” for ourselves.
I grew up in an era where career opportunities were far more available for women in my generation, and so we could dream more about climbing up the metaphorical “ladder” than those who came before us.
Life on a regenerative farm in Italy was invigorating and illuminating, with opportunities to get my hands dirty while reflecting on regenerative principles applications to other areas of life.
And yet, in my 30s, I started to see that those women who had made it to the top, had often adopted the male persona and tactics in order to find their way into leadership, and what they were modeling did not feel feminine or resonant, at all.
And with that recognition and each move I took farther away from the traditional career ladder after leaving corporate healthcare, I convinced myself I was leaving my own sense of ambition behind.
As I started letting my life and professional decisions come from a more internal place, I quickly discovered my own soul’s desire had its own tinge of ambition, but in a different form - for life to feel like one big adventure.
Following its longings has taken me to Portugal, Peru, South Africa, and most recently across 13 countries in Europe in the Spring of 2026. Towards the end of this most recent escapade, my brother and I walked along the rugged coast of Croatia, and I got to consider the question I had posed to him - “what are you most proud of in your life?”
Wandering the streets of Dubrovnik during our walk through the Croatian islands, with plenty of time to swap midlife wisdom along the route
And my answer? That I had finally created a life that felt big enough for all of me. Through the support of a coaching container last year, I articulated that I wanted to believe that I could be both dynamic AND well-resourced for that dynamism. And my trip to Europe felt like the most beautiful way to express and honor this commitment and live into this belief.
Over three months of traveling, I attended networking events aligned with families and wealth, global social innovation, and bridging communities.
I dove deep into European history through visits to museums and supplemental YouTube studies. I nurtured my ties to the impact and education travel domain. I deepened existing friendships and forged new ones.
My body, mind, heart, and soul were deeply nourished by the experiences I chose and the ones that chose me. Throughout that window of time, I felt as though I expanded fully into all that I am and all that I want to be.
My female leadership came to life when I organized my hometown friends, during a short visit to Kentucky, to host a table at a local festival, complete with bubble wands and handmade flower crowns
And how does this all tie to my reflections on the passing of Dolly and reflections on female leadership? The outpouring of tributes to this special soul is a testament to how many lives she touched, and how universally loved she was - regardless of your color, creed, political views, or even nationality.
And when she passed, something clicked for me - she was indeed the ultimate expression of female leadership, an answer to this pressing question I had been trying to answer in dialogue with dear friends.
She was disarming and sharp, ambitious and kind, strategic and patient, as her star rose to the highest of heights. She wanted to express herself fully, through her songwriting, her extravagant appearance, her performing, her business savvy, and her philanthropy, and she most definitely left it ALL on the court, as she moved over to the other side.
And in the revisiting of her life and legacy, I realized I felt some kind of permission slip. Maybe I never lost my ambition. Maybe ambition can be warm, fun, friendly, and inviting…and deeply feminine. Maybe ambition can come from our souls, not just our egos.
A Northeast stop at the Roux Institute in Portland, Maine, to learn how they’re using entrepreneurship and innovation to fuel economic development across the state
And when I say all of that out loud, my soul is like, FINALLY, will you please accept this part of who we are? And believe that it is a worthwhile part of yourself to share, shine, and nurture? And that it might even be good for the world? It only took me 44 years :)
My professional path seems to be aligning with this intention, without a lot of effort, as doors continue to open for me to engage in conversations with leaders operating at a new level than I imagined before.
Upon return from Europe, I quickly shifted gears to road tripping through the Northeastern US connecting across higher education, impact investing, NextGen leadership, and philanthropy. The conversations have come easy, and the multitudes of lived experience and connections I have accumulated over the last 4-5 years is creating value and offering perspectives I had not previously understood.
Once August hit, my body knew it was time to stop, and so I carved out time at a cozy cabin in Quebec, giving myself space to synthesize all the inspiration and input from this year. It’s not perfect, but I am finally ready to share the umbrella for my next professional chapter, Scutchfield & Co. Advisory.
What’s next? I will be heading to New York City to be in the mix for the United Nations General Assembly and Climate Week, starting a course in Strategic Philanthropy through the Polycapital Academy, and hosting an online discussion later this month to further reflect on this theme of feminine leadership with trusted friends and colleagues. Bringing ambition AND warmth to all that cross my path.
These are part of my commmitments to a life design that feels big enough for all of me, with room for who I’m still becoming.
Sending you peace and tranquility from the many lakes and rivers of Quebec!
